How to Set Limits

In and out of the classroom, you will come across times where you need to set limits. Whether dealing with a child who has behavioral disorders like Attention Deficit Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder or just a child who is acting out, it is essential to know how to set effective limits. Here are some tips to help you with the process.

Setting Limits That Work

1. Explain the exact type of behavior that is inappropriate when a child is uncertain as to what their inappropriate behavior is. (It is better if the child know and explains, however, often this will come from you.)

2. Try to illicit why the behavior is inappropriate, if not, you will need to explain this very clearly as well.

3. Present the child with choices for meaningful consequences. Remember, the consequences must be enforced and be significant to the child. (A child who likes to sit in the office should not have this choice.)

4. Allow the child some time to determine the consequence he/she feels they would prefer.

5. Always adhere to your limits. Don't be seen as someone who waffles on consequences.

What to Avoid

1. Never use terms like 'DO IT NOW!'

2. Do NOT threaten

3. When implementing a consequence, make sure the child clearly understands why the consequence is being enforced. Do NOT use the term 'Because I Said So'

4. Always show respect for the child - do NOT belittle the child.

5. Don't give ultimatums

6. Don't get involved in power struggles.

If you've ever wondered why some educators are much more effective at dealing with inappropriate behaviors than others, it's the tips here that they are faithful to implementing.