Child Behaving Badly: Parent's Unable to Say No?
Friday December 26, 2008
Are some of the bad behaviors many teachers are seeing and dealing with a direct result of over indulgent parents who have great difficulty saying no? That's what this research is indicating from a Cambridge University Study.. Interviews with over 200 families revealed that families are definitely struggling to control their children.
How can you help?
Comments
There is absolutely nothing in the article cited that supports a causal relationship between parents’ indulgence and unruly behavior in their children at school, merely an assumption of such causation. Interviewing teachers about the problems they face managing behavior in their students says nothing about why the children behave that way. It is wrong to continually heap judgment and blame on parents by making deceptive statements like the first sentence in this article: “a direct result of overindulgent parents.” This is insulting.
The reason it “Takes a Village to Raise a Child” is because parents had abdicated the throne of responsibility. As a teacher myself, I see this everyday. I witness parents begging their children to wear coats in freezing weather, asking them if they would like to enroll in school, pleading with them to do homework. I have been hit, kicked, bit, cursed and spit on while parents look on helplessly. I have seen children hit, curse and yell at their parents. In the classroom!! The worst part is, I teach preschool in the public school system. You may assume these are isolated incidents, you would be wrong. If the parents are not responsible for instilling manners, civility and appropriate behavior, who is? I could be a much better teacher if I did not have to deal with the effects of bad parenting or no parenting at all.
The following ‘a direct result of overindulgent parents’ was posed as a question, not a statement. I have indeed had many parents tell me personally that they don’t know what to do about their children who: won’t go to bed, won’t do homework, won’t act responsibly - hence the question.
Sue,
Hey here’s a thought. If your child will not go to bed, put him there yourself. If he will not do homework, take the PSP, DS, or cell phone away. You would be suprised how effective these simple thing can be and how your childs’ behavior will improve. You are not being mean to your children by doing these things, you are being their parent not their best frind.
As a mother of 5 children, one with special needs, i agree that parents abdication of responsibility is the cause of a lot of the bad behaviour cited here. My kids are far from perfect, but, they DO have and show respect for their peers, their elders and especially their teachers. Their Father and I, (and yes they all have the same Father!), have tried to instill in them the morals and values that teach such respect. I have 1st hand experience of the childfren of these indulgent parents and the results of such parenting is terrifying, it’s making this country into a time bomb waiting to happen. The big question is what on earth can be done about it when the government is intent on nannying the very parents we are talking about.
we give our son many things that he craves for, but he is polite & well behaved at school, and where ever he needs to be, he knows the place to let off steam is at home.
the problem children seems to me to be the one’s who both parents work all hours, and are never there, or the one’s who let their children roam all over until all hours.
parents need to be parents, not forced out to work, there should always be one available parent to the children.
I work in the special education system and I have seen many instances when grown adults with disabilities will act just as this study suggests! It INCREDIBLY difficult to deal with a “child” twice your size who will not listen let alone one who is violent. If only parents could learn to say no. But most parents of children with disabilites feel that it is their fault for the childs problems so they overcompensate and end up just causing more problems. in most cases: ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! so please just raise your child.